I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i came on her dog
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
