So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
