Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize