The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
