just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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