and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
