Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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