Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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