i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
