That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
