Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
