Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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