fuck your aforementioned shoe
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
