Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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