Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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