Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.

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(216): View more from Ohio

He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.

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(417): View more from Missouri

p.s. you have a small clit

(1-417): View more from Missouri

YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.

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(269): View more from Michigan

sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.

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(630): View more from Illinois

i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"

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(914): View more from New York

Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.

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(478): View more from Georgia

Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John

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(702): View more from Nevada

All she said was "Do me by Friday."

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