he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Someone came in the potted fern
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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