Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
