have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
