omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
