The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
