spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize