This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
