member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
