so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
