Me too!
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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