she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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