you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
