Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You smell like stripper and shame
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
