@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
