we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
