She said her name was "party"
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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