She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
