M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
