I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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