so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Randomize
