dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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