yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
