what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
