She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
