If i come over, it means nothing
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
