My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
