Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
