if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
True college students do jello shots in the library
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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