i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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