yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
