the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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