I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize
