Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
