I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
