she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
