I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
