Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
