just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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