they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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