she was so not down for the gang bang
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
