do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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