There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I cannot find my penis.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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