i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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