He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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